Saturday, December 17, 2016
Yes Mitch McConnell is scum
One of the most frustrating things about having to deal with a Donald Trump presidency—and those frustrations are legion—is the fact that Trump and the party he now commands have managed to co-opt hysteria and use it as their own proprietary weapon. When I tell you, with all sincerity, that Trump represents a danger to the world, I know I sound EXACTLY like Alex Jones telling you that President Obama is a sulfur-powered sewer demon. I feel like Alex Jones telling you that, even though I know that my hysteria is far more justified than any hysteria coming from the right. They’ve cried wolf so many times that any dire warning from the opposite side just sounds like reciprocal hand-wringing.
This brings us to Mitch McConnell. I am not being hyperbolic when I say that Mitch McConnell is evil. The coming Trump Presidency is already an assembly line of shitty, apocalyptic consequences getting cranked out 24/7, and the fact that McConnell now holds near-total power over Congress is perhaps the most unbearable side effect of them all. Here is a man who made it his solemn oath to thwart a President who was elected fair and square—and by an actually huge, not-bullshit-Trump-YUGE, margin—and who then spent eight goddamn years doing exactly that. McConnell is a man who hijacked a Supreme Court vacancy and, barring some last-minute shenanigans that President Obama is probably (and unfortunately) too polite to pull, he will get away with it.
Now we find out that McConnell is basically a traitor. In the wake of an unprecedented breach in American cybersecurity, what did this guy do? He threatened the President that he would publicly discredit the (solid, non-partisan) intelligence just to fuck him, along with the American people. It worked, of course. Oh, and now McConnell's old lady has a Cabinet post. This man has no morals, nor any respect for the rule of law, nor any respect for those who would defy him. For his own personal gain, he permitted Russia to continue manipulating the November election so that his party's candidate could win—giving us a quivering mound of chili drippings for president. And God knows what kind of dirt Putin has on him.
This is treasonous behavior. There’s no more civilized way to put it. Mitch McConnell chose Russia over America. He should be prosecuted.
But now I feel dumb saying that because he and his ilk have spent DECADES overstating the danger of their political opponents: Hillary killed four people with her bare hands during Benghazi and should go to jail. Obama is a Muslim sleeper agent. Jared Fogle is running a kiddie-porn ring out a (DEMOCRAT) pizza shop in (DEMOCRAT) Washington, D.C.
McConnell has supported lie after lie after lie after lie, and the diabolical result it that all the truths told about him sound like lies themselves.
But they’re not. This man is repugnant and doesn’t deserve to keep his job, and it’s an indictment of his party that no one—NO ONE—has the balls to openly defy him at the present moment. His colleagues are way more scared of him than Trump. And what have Democrats done to thwart him?
Called for "fair" hearings. Oh yeah, those’ll do the trick, especially with—who else?—Mitch McConnell presiding over them. The strategy seems to be: just keep offering that scorpion a ride on your back.
"Obviously, any foreign breach of our cybersecurity measures is disturbing and I strongly condemn any such efforts," McConnell said in a statement that he read to reporters at a news conference at the U.S. Capitol.
Fuck this guy. The turtle jokes no longer work. I can’t point and laugh when this man has helped suppress the will of the people and laid out a cubic zirconia path to the White House for Donald Trump. As long as Mitch McConnell has a say in anything, our democracy is a joke. And that's not a wacky conspiracy theory.
Yes fuck Turtle Face six ways to Sunday.